It’s two days before Christmas and if you’re anything like most Australians, your social calendar looks like a game of Tetris designed by someone who hates you.

Work Christmas parties. Family gatherings. Friends’ end-of-year drinks. The neighbour’s barbecue you accidentally said yes to. That catch-up with someone you haven’t seen since March and now somehow owe a three-hour lunch.

And underneath all of it, a quiet voice saying: I just want to sit in my house and do nothing for a bit.

If that’s you, this is your permission slip. Not to cancel everything — but to set some boundaries that let you actually enjoy the season instead of just surviving it.

Why Boundaries Feel So Hard at Christmas

Let’s name it: Australian culture is deeply social. We pride ourselves on being easygoing, saying yes, showing up. The idea of saying “no” to a gathering — especially a family one — can feel like a character flaw rather than a reasonable choice.

Add in the emotional weight of the holidays — grief, family tension, financial pressure, loneliness — and you’ve got a recipe for people-pleasing at the expense of your own wellbeing.

But here’s what I’ve learned, both personally and through years of working with clients: boundaries aren’t about being difficult. They’re about being honest. And honesty, when delivered with warmth, is almost always received better than we expect.

The Pre-Holiday Audit

Before the chaos peaks, take 15 minutes and do a quick audit. Grab a piece of paper and list every commitment you have between now and early January.

Next to each one, write:

• Want to — genuinely looking forward to it
• Should — feel obligated but wouldn’t choose it
• Have to — non-negotiable (work, essential family commitments)

Now look at your “should” list. Those are your boundary opportunities.

You don’t have to cancel all of them. But can you shorten some? Can you attend for an hour instead of four? Can you suggest a different format — a walk instead of a long lunch, a phone call instead of a visit?

Scripts That Actually Work

The hardest part of setting boundaries is finding the words. So here are some scripts you can steal and adapt:

For declining an invitation: “Thank you so much for the invite. I’m going to sit this one out — I’ve overcommitted myself and I need to protect some downtime. I hope you have a wonderful time.”

For shortening your stay: “I’d love to come but I’ll need to head off by [time]. Just want to be upfront so you’re not surprised when I duck out.”

For managing family expectations: “I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone. I might need to take some quiet time during the day — I want to be present when I’m with you all, and I know myself well enough to know I need a bit of space to recharge.”

For the person who pushes back: “I appreciate you wanting me there. This is what works for me right now, and I hope you can understand.”

Notice what these have in common: they’re warm, they’re brief, and they don’t over-explain. You don’t need to justify your boundaries with a detailed itinerary of your mental health status. A simple, kind statement is enough.

The “Enough” Principle

Here’s a framework I use with my yoga students and it applies perfectly to holiday socialising: do enough, not everything.

Enough looks different for everyone. For an extrovert, enough might be five events in a week. For an introvert, it might be two. For someone dealing with grief or depression, enough might be one short visit and the rest of the time spent quietly at home.

There is no universal standard for how much socialising makes a good holiday. The only measure that matters is whether you feel replenished or depleted at the end.

Practical Energy Management

Beyond saying no to things, here are some practical strategies for protecting your energy during the silly season:

Buffer your calendar. Don’t schedule events back to back. Leave at least half a day between major social commitments.

Have an exit strategy. Drive yourself to events when possible, so you’re not dependent on someone else’s timeline.

Eat before you go. Hunger plus social stress is a terrible combination. Arrive fed and hydrated.

Phone a friend. Have someone you can text when things get overwhelming. Sometimes just sending “I’m at my limit” to a trusted person helps you feel less alone in the moment.

Schedule recovery time. Block out at least two or three days over the holiday period that are genuinely yours. No plans, no obligations. Put them in your calendar like appointments, because rest is not what happens after everything else — it’s something you need to actively plan for.

A Word on Family Dynamics

I know that for many people, the hardest boundaries to set are with family. Maybe it’s the relative who always comments on your weight. The parent who asks invasive questions about your relationship. The sibling dynamic that reverts you to your 14-year-old self.

I’m not going to pretend a boundary script fixes deep family patterns. But I will say this: you are allowed to leave rooms. You are allowed to change the subject. You are allowed to say “I’d rather not discuss that” and let the awkward silence sit.

You are a grown adult, and protecting your peace is not selfish. It’s necessary.

The Gift of Presence

Here’s the irony: when you set boundaries and manage your energy, you actually show up better for the events you do attend. You’re more present, more patient, more fun to be around.

So this Christmas, give yourself the gift of enough. Not everything. Just enough.

Your people will understand. And if they don’t, that’s useful information too.

Have a gentle, honest, and restful holiday season. You deserve it.